Have you ever sat in a meeting and hope that you can glue up someone's lips? This is usually the guy who is dominating the discussion, and leaving no chance for others to speak. Or if you are chairing a meeting, how do you get everyone to participate?

Understanding the communication styles of your colleagues, friends or even spouse, can help a great deal in getting your message across and minimising conflicts. More importantly, when we understand our own communication styles, we know our weaknesses and can work towards improving how we communicate with others.

There are 4 styles altogether, and each of us will tend to have a combination, with a leaning towards one.

Direct Style
This style is normally practised by those who speak directly, quickly and forcefully. Because they can be dominating, they are poor listeners, are impatient and tend to offend. They are normally the change agents, drivers, who like to take charge and thrive on challenges. Comprising only 3% of the population, they are usually the CEOs.

When talking to the direct people, focus on their goals and be well-organised in your presentation. And needless to say, speak quickly.

Spirited Style
You can easily spot these people in a gathering. In an office environment, they are those who provide the laughs, and dominate the airwaves. Because they are too interested in being popular, they tend to be ill-disciplined, disorganised and forgetful. However, having the gift of the gab, they are persuasive and influencing. Having an interest in people and the thirst for interaction, they thrive in people-related jobs.

Allow the spirited space to express, be supportive of their ideas and don't hurry the discussion. They work best with lots of affirmation and praise.

Systematic Style
The specialists (eg lawyers, surgeons) and thinkers fall under this. They are task-oriented, focus on facts, present precisely and analyse issues. They can have very good ideas, but these must be drawn out from them. Their problem is their perfectionist streak may land them in paralysis by analysis. They can also be too concerned with minor things.

You can rely on these people if your job requires fact-finding, accuracy and analysis, but give them deadlines. If you want their opinions, you have to specifically ask for them.

Considerate Style
The "considerate" people comprise some 70% of the population. They are those who like security, stability, avoid conflicts and are resistant to change. They are good listeners and counsellors. Feelings are important to them.

Don't speak harshly to these people, give them lots of encouragement and let them do things in a group as they feel more confident with group support.

Year published : 2000